Language of our body, in comparison with other verbal (speech) means of communication, is unique. If to present what exactly it bears from 60 to 80 percent of information transferred to the interlocutor, it is easy to understand need for interpretation of this way of contact. If we wish to be sure that precisely understood the person, we have to connect in one overall picture information from a body and verbal expressions.
Who from us did not face feeling of not clear alarm at communication with the person when he approved one, however subconsciously you felt his falseness. You will tell that it is intuition and it is good that who has it. Actually, it is easy to develop intuition, watching the interlocutor and, knowing concrete value of gestures, to draw right conclusions. An example of nonverbal communication At one university on occupations of psychology made experiment. Audience which consisted of married couples, divided into two groups on a sexual sign and allowed to see videos of various options of crying of babies. Then asked to explain their value. Most of women who had children, unmistakably deciphered them (hunger, wet diapers, pain, etc.) while men did not see in options of crying of special distinction. It allowed to draw a conclusion that women as more sensitive and observant, interpret nonverbal gestures easier. It is more difficult for men to make it, they need a reality, but not any there sentimental experiences. Of course, also exceptions meet.
This case still explains that fact why it is difficult to stronger sex to tell a lie to the wife who as if reads a real state of affairs on eyes. Nonverbal means of communication On the site Mirsovetov you will find interesting materials and answers to the vital questions concerning psychology of the relations, including ability to read the person as if the book.
So, we will consider nonverbal means of communication. Accurately to understand their diverse structure, we will give their classification: Movements expressional and expressive (body pose, mimicry, gestures, gait). The tactile movements (handshake, pat on a back or a shoulder, touches, kisses). Look visual and contact (direction of a look, its duration, contact frequency). The spatial movements (orientation, a distance, placement at a table). In this part of article we will in detail stop on the first two groups of means of nonverbal communication and we will try to characterize their sense. It is necessary to remember that to interpret separately taken gesture without set of other signals of a body, so to mislead itself. Therefore before drawing concrete conclusions, it is necessary to consider all nuances of behavior of the interlocutor, and also his physical and psychological state. Movements expressional and expressive Open gestures and poses of a body
Hands of the interlocutor are turned by palms up and widely raskinuta in the parties. Landing of the head the straight line, shoulders are straightened. Straight line look. A look natural, without tension and constraint. This pose of friendliness as means of nonverbal communication speaks about openness, sincerity. Also tells handshake with a grasp about it it two hands. Men can undo a shirt or a jacket in conversation. Communicating with such person, involuntarily you relax and you test to him trust.
Mirsovetov recommends to apply this reception at communication with people, significant for you. In combination with sincere tone you will quickly win to yourself an arrangement.
In nonverbal communication there is a concept of mental contact which is expressed in involuntary copying of gestures of each other or all behavior. The signal is each other sent: "I perfectly understand you". And it is valid if to dart a glance at peacefully talking couple behind a little table, we will see similar poses, an identical arrangement of hands up to smooth surface. If you want to convince other person of unconditional division of his opinion, simply copy its position of a body.
If to observe gait of the happy person in love, we will note the flying gait which strongly is evident. It is also characteristic for self-assured, vigorous people. The impression that all problems by it is made at all.
The closed gestures and poses (protection, suspiciousness, reserve)
You likely saw how in conversation someone hides hands? It is quite probable that he tells a lie as subconsciously the brain of the person sends signals to a body and at the told lie there is a strong desire to take away hands in a pocket, to scratch a nose, to rub eyes. Typical signs, however, as Mirsovetov already told all this, it is necessary to explain value of nonverbal gestures in total. The person having cold can scratch a nose to rub eyes – the child who just woke up, etc.
The hands crossed on a breast, the crossed feet in standing positions and sitting – classical gesture of closeness, inaccessibility. Frequent blinking is a sign of protection, confusion. The emotional status of the person does not allow to feel freely and easy. If you try to agree about something with such interlocutor, it is quite probable that be refused. That "to melt ice", Mirsovetov advises to use the means of nonverbal communication which is already described above, try to accept an open pose with palms up.
Gestures of reflection and assessment
It is expressed in a nose bridge poshchipyvaniye blindly. When the person with whom you communicate, solves how to arrive or what to do, generally thinks over the solution of a certain question – at this time it can rub a chin.
If the person holds a hand at a chin, with a forefinger pulling along a cheek, and other hand supports an elbow, his left eyebrow is lowered – you will understand that at it the negative assessment to the events ripened.
It is interpreted as a small ducking forward and an easy contact by a cheek hand. The case of a body is inclined forward. Before you the person interested in the events, positive to information.
Gestures of doubt and uncertainty
Likely, you noticed how some students, listening speaking, cover a mouth with a palm? This gesture speaks about disagreement with opinion of the lecturer. They as if constrain the statements, quash true feelings and experiences. If in conversation your friend unexpectedly made mistrust gesture, stop and think, what words caused its such reaction? Watching behavior of the chief, the subordinate will understand that it is necessary to tell and about what it is better to keep silent. Mistrust quickly turns into rejection, and then into refusal.
Such nonverbal gesture as a pochesyvaniye or a potiraniye behind an ear or a neck can testify that the person not quite understands that want from it or that in conversation you mean. How to interpret such gesture if you were told about full understanding? Here the preference should be given to a nonverbal signal of a body. In this case the person understood nothing. The hand clasping another for an elbow behind also tells about uncertainty probably it the owner is in unfamiliar society.
The gestures and poses testifying to unwillingness to listen
The interlocutor props up the head a hand. It is clear that it is indifferent to the events. If he sits in audience, it is possible to tell with confidence: the material stated by the lecturer is absolutely uninteresting. In such cases Mirsovetov recommends to change a topic of conversation on exciting him or "to stir up" an unexpected question. Be sure that that will regain consciousness, and it to you just and it is necessary.
Stryakhivaniye from itself nonexistent fibers, a raspravleniye of folds of clothes, odergivany skirts in nonverbal communication a sign of disagreement of your opponent with the stated point of view. You quickly will understand need to pass to neutral subjects. However, if to a jacket sleeve the thread really stuck, the clothes were rumpled, you should not regard similar as gesture of disapproval.
Readiness to leave
It is possible to determine by such signs as lowering a century (interest loss), an ear pochesyvaniye (an otgorozheniye from a flow of the speech), an ear lobe pandiculation (does not want to express), turning by all case of a body to a door or the direction of a foot in this party. Gesture in the form of removal of points also gives a signal for the end of conversation.
When the person tells obvious lie, and understands that you got to the core of him, he will sicken from your correctness which can be shown in involuntary weakening of a tie or a collar. In nonverbal communication it can be also shown in a neck potiraniye, the excess movements by hands, handbag poshchipyvaniya at the lady, mechanical drawing on paper.
So-called "a management pose" or "a pose of the boss" in a sitting position. Hands lie behind the head, one foot on another. If eyelids are hardly covered or corners of eyes are slightly blinked, the look is directed down – before you arrogance, neglect. This position of a body as means of nonverbal communication often is accepted by chiefs, people of senior positions. They are sure of themselves, defiantly express the importance before others. Attempt to copy this gesture threatens with fast dismissal from work.
Similar gesture is used practically by all men, it is much less than woman. Nature of handshake can tell about much, first of all will open intentions of other person. If at the time of connection of two hands one is higher the back party, her owner shows the leading situation. It is possible to check, how strongly that defends the status of the leader an easy way: to turn the hand up. If felt resistance, so you will not manage to convince it to occupy equality between you.
When the man likes some woman, he shows the thumbs which are stopped up for a belt, has hands on hips or widely places feet. The view of the woman, as a rule, intimate, can be also late for a long time on the assorted parts of a body. The man can involuntarily correct a hand a tie or a collar.
If the woman seeks to interest, she unconsciously throws up the head, corrects a hairdress, straightens a jacket. More subtle art of seduction byby nonverbal communication consists in an exposure of wrists, the moved apart feet in sitting or standing position. If the woman shows an intimate look in total with incidentally slid off shoulder-strap on a shoulder, a half-dressed shoe on the crossed foot, be sure of her desire to begin flirtation. The slightly opened mouth and moist lips belong to a typical sexual appeal.
Embraces, handshakes, pats on a shoulder or a back, touches, kisses concern to them.
Determine value of the feelings expressed by the person by nature of embraces, their force, duration.
The bosom friends who were in long separation at a meeting nearly smother each other in strong embraces. Lovers are late in gentle embraces long time. Embraces between distant relatives, depending on the contacts supported earlier, can be as reserved, cold, and ardent. Between close people they carry soft heart-felt sense. At fight competitions, for example, participants shortly embrace and disperse.
Such means of nonverbal communication as embraces meet at representatives of a strong half of mankind more often, between women they meet a little less often. Now it is possible to see two teenage little girls running to each other with open arms on streets. At this age the frequency of similar contacts, both between boys, and between girls has expressional character when there is a wish to splash out outside surplus of pleasure, delight and admiration of a meeting. If you see same-sex couples which are slowly strolling on the sidewalk in the weaved embraces it can involuntarily suggest an idea of nonconventional orientation.
Handshakes as one of means of nonverbal communication, too differ on a way of their commission, force and duration. The strong, vigorous potryakhivaniye of a hand of the interlocutor together with joyful exclamation speaks about sincerity of the partner, his desire to continue conversation. The hand grasp the in the form of "glove" also speaks about friendliness. But if you are given a lifeless hand as if dead fish, do not want to contact to you.
The cold hand in handshake can signal that her owner or froze, or strongly worries. Tell the misted-over palms about nervous experience. The hand appearing a palm down in handshake testifies to desire to dominate over other person. If on the contrary, it is turned palm up – her owner unconsciously recognizes himself subordinated to the interlocutor.
Pats on a back or a shoulder
Pats on a back or a shoulder it is generally characteristic for men. These nonverbal gestures are often interpreted as manifestation of a friendly arrangement, participation or encouragement. They can be seen practically in all age categories. Pat as if shows the man's force and readiness of his owner to come to the rescue.
By the way, it is not necessary to confuse this gesture with applied in medical practice. On a back clap the newborn child that that cried and straightened lungs, behind clap the choked person. Pat is a kind of receptions in massage practice. That is, concrete value of this gesture depends on the current situation.
Touches widely meet in the world of nonverbal communication. In educational activity it helps to stop the got naughty mischievous person, in a case with the deaf person – to pay to itself his attention, in medical practice by means of this gesture diagnose a state of health, the technology of massage is constructed on set of ways of a touch to a body, between spouses they serve as a prelude to connection in the intimate sphere. Various character of a touch are the indicator of unexpressed feelings of the partner. They can be gentle, tender, easy, strong, rough, hurting, etc.
Kisses as kind of tactile gesture, it is widely applied in all aspects of human life. In relation to concrete object character of kisses changes. Mother kisses the child gently and with love, between the loving people they can vary from a light touch of lips to a passionate kiss. Mirsovetov in separate article opens all scale of this type of gesture in courting behind an opposite sex. Here we will note that kisses can be both the sincere manifestations of feelings, and formal, cold traditional. Kiss at a meeting and at parting, kiss on birth time.
You got acquainted with variety of nonverbal gestures of the first two groups. It is sure that they, undoubtedly, will be useful to you in attempts to analyze behavior of the person on the sum of the sent signals, will help to estimate correctly intentions of the specific interlocutor even if his speech conflicts to them. In the following article "Nonverbal Means of Communication, ch.2" we will stop on nonverbal means of communication of other groups. Welcome! gestures, nonverbal means, communication, sign language, body language